Save Me from Myself

So desperately wanting it to end,
Cutting deep just to pretend.
That everything is alright,

Just fine.

When really all the fears

Hit the heart like jagged spears

Tears like rain

Heart full of pain

Finally found something.

Something to live for

Someone to love

Darling you kept me alive

You saved me from the dark.

You saved me from myself…...

I'm 18 Now... :-)

I am 18 now. I’m old enough to buy Cigarettes, Beer, etc. Old enough to play the lottery. I’ve messed up a lot in life. The worst part is knowing I’m not done messing up. I’ve failed classes and I’ve failed to see the point in doing certain things. I am more wise and more determined in my actions. But To me, I am still a kid. I’m not ready for love. I’m not ready for bills. I’m not ready to buy a house. I’m not ready to have a real job. I’m not ready to be called Uncle Vishal. Maybe I am ready. And I just don’t want to be. Being 18 has made me realize a lot. These things are slowly approaching and I don’t want them to. I’m scared and I am not ready. For anything. Life’s too unexpected.